


Nuisance

by IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst, Chandlers Not Okay, Death, F/M, Give him Hug, Heavy Angst, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Trigger Warnings, angst angst baby, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-07 07:25:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19204663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking/pseuds/IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking
Summary: The late night wonderings of a depressed Chander.TW:Suicide





	1. Chapter 1

Chandler stood at the edge of the balcony gazing at the lights of New York. He seemed to be in his own world as he leaned over the edge. To him, the sounds of the traffic below were almost non-existent, not compared to the sounds of life coming from the apartment behind him. All of his 'friends' were in there laughing and goofing around and just being _happy_. Chandler sighed. Happiness. He hadn't felt that in a while. Sure, the kids around and makes jokes left and right but it's all a _mask._ Each joke is a cry for help that he doesn't know how to say. I mean, how do you say something like that? Especially to people who probably don't even care about you. Chandler's pretty sure the only reason most of them are friends with him is that he lives across the hall and that he was only friends with Ross in college because of mutual bad hair. _At least I'm the comedic relief of the group?_ He thought. He started and turned around when he heard a roar of laughter and giggles come from the three girls as Joey waved his hands about, obviously telling some story. _Nah, they've already got Joey for that. So what am I?_ He thought back to all of the annoyed looks from his friends when he cracked a joke at the wrong time or any time. _I'm the nuisance._

 _That's what I am. I'm not needed._ He turned lifted his leg onto the short wall protecting people from the fall. He grabbed on to the wall next to him and hoisted himself up as he looked below. Such a long way down.

Chandler turned around to look at his so-called friends. They were laughing and eating chips while goofing off. They probably didn't even notice he was gone.

Tears fell down his cheeks as he wondered how long it would take them to notice he was gone. He set his gaze on Monica. She always had a beautiful face.

 _This is a nice last mental picture._ And with that, he stepped backward and fell.

Everything seemed to slow down and as he was toppling backward, he could see Monica look over at him smile still wide on her face, but soon dropping as her eyes widened.

_I always loved her smile._

_Bye guys._


	2. Chapter 2

Monica was having a good day. Work had gone smoothly. Dinner turned out great. Her house was clean. And now her friends were over.

She was having a great time. She and her friends were eating chips, and she had gotten them all to use coasters. Joey was telling stories, Ross was reading something, Rachel was laughing at Joey, and Pheobe...Well, she was just being Pheobe. No one knows what goes on inside her head.

Monica was having a great day, but she noticed that Chandler seemed a bit out of it. He had walked into her apartment and had deflected all food and opted for just sitting on the couch. He made no jokes, just sat there, as if deep in thought. The rest of the group seemed to notice as well but were soon pulled into Joey's stories as he recounted some of his worst dates.

About halfway through the 3rd of Joey's stories, Chandler had quietly stood a muttered an excuse before walking slowly to the balcony. After a moment of standing quietly and taking long, deep breaths of fresh air (or as fresh as you can get in New York) he shuffled over the ledge and rested his arms on it.

And there he stayed. Monica watched him for a couple of minutes as he rested his weight on the short wall. He seemed so deep in thought, he looked as though he was carrying the weight of the world upon his shoulders.

Chandler's attitude confused Monica. She was used to the funny, joking man that made her laugh. She was used to the sweet guy that said snarky things but never meant to hurt you. She was used to seeing such depth in those eyes. A depth that made her like him, _maybe_ even more than a friend.

But now it was all gone.

The man who walked into her apartment today was not Chandler. Not with that sad face and _horribly_ depressed eyes.

_Maybe I should go and talk to him._

She was about to get up when Joey made a _hilarious_ comment about one of the girls he was with, causing Monica to laugh uncontrollably, thoughts momentarily taken away from Chandler.

After laughing for a good minute (because Joey was hilarious in the dumbest way possible) she turned to look at Chandler, ready to get up and talk to him when she saw something that made her heart stop.

Chandler, beautiful Chandler, was standing on the short wall, hair swirling around his face, wind grabbing at his clothes, asking him to join in flight. He looked so sure of himself as he gazed at Monica. Her heart twisted violently as she saw the tears running down his face reflecting the colorful lights of the city below. She saw the wistful but heart-wrenchingly sad smile on his face as he stared into her eyes.

And then he stepped back wind tugging at him violently, hair swirling as if trying to break free, clothes twisting around him like restraints.

He fell.

_No,_

_Monica was not having a good day._

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my earlier fics that I forgot to cross post on here from ffnet. Full of typos and redundancies, but I will fix them at some point. Or rather, rewrite this thing all together. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, hope you guys stay safe! 
> 
> Have a great day.


End file.
